Horoscopes

Inbaal's take on the different star signs isn't what you'd get from an Astrology book or a politically-correct expert. Her assessment is based on everyone she knows and used to know, a vast, unfathomable number of people and other mammals, and on her own personal study of the planets through their corresponding mythological Gods and Goddesses.

Check out vintage horoscopes from Elle Magazine, Alondon Hebrew mag, Alternative London magazine and ElleGirl Japan by Clicking Here.

Which signs are faithful? Who can you leave the kids with? Who will gossip about you even before your back is turned? Pick up a pen and paper now.

Aries are the babies of the zodiac. They're young-looking and young-acting. They're loud, outgoing and scarily disorganized. If an Arien makes anything of their lives it's probably your doing. They act in short sharp bursts and can rarely sustain their enthusiasm for very long. On a night out they're hilarious, the life and soul, and are likely to pick fights. Proceed with caution.

Taurus are the most laid back of the signs. They won't move without a good reason, talk without getting paid for it, or turn up in the morning with a smile on their faces. Call them boring and you couldn't be wronger - they're very funny. When they can be bothered. A Taurean friend will be as loyal as they come, and will go to great lengths to keep you happy.

Gemini is not a two-faced sign, just totally confused. They'll play with anyone, befriend both sides of a warring battle and be surprised if you ever yell at them. Geminis can actually be in love with two people at the same time, which is as hard for them to handle as it is for the betrayed party. They often fall prey to depression just because no one understands them. Bore them at your peril - they'll go play with someone else.

Cancer is a real whinge-bag of a sign. They always worry that the worse would happen, they think they're about to be abandoned, and combat this with the most effective of methods - feeding you. Cancerians love their home and the indoors and are brilliant cooks. If you met a slim Cancerian, there's tapeworm involved. They're real romantics and will make a partner feel like they're drowning in love.

Leo is the king of the jungle. The sign with the most pride and strength. Laugh at all their jokes or else. They love being the centre of attention and therefore make great media people and enthusiastic teachers. The whole world is their stage. Easily recognised by their thick, shiny manes, they're rather image consious and feel it's part of their obligation to their adoring fans, to stay good-looking.

Virgo is the most normal sign there is. No paradoxes and no funny business. If they own a pair of handcuffs, it's for upholding the law. They sleep early and rise early and get on with everybody. Possessing a great passion for telling right from wrong, they make fantastic parents and loyal partners, but they often forget to prioritize their nearest and dearest and give the same attention to undeserving parties.

Libra is represented by the scales. And with them, their moods swing up and down, left and right. A judgemental sign if ever there was one. Under the influence of the planet Venus, they are stylish and loving and compulsively stay friends with all warring factions. Their signature look is colour coordinated.

Scorpio is the axe murderer of the zodiac. They're passionate, emotional, intense and profound. They take things far too personally and are known to go quiet on occasion, while contemplating the appropriate response to whatever it was they think you did to them. Some say Scorpios are brilliant in bed. The best you've ever had. I say, I'm not brave enough to find out. Visually, they're striking and are brilliant dressers. Their sharp image provides the mask that they so crave.

Sagittarius is just totally fun. It's a colourful, artistic sign and people born under it are funny and full of the joy of life. They need a lot of freedom and adore travel and new experiences. Sagittarians are criminally clumsy, with their words as well as their actions. Never serve them red wine near a white carpet, and don't tell them secrets others aren't meant to find out.

Capricorn is a business-minded, organized sign. They deal with relationship as if they were business ventures and can come across cold and calculating. They love labels and good quality posessions and the best seats in the house. Capricorns have an addictive personality, mostly to status symbols - the most expensive champagne or drugs, sports cars and posh resort holidays.

Aquarius is the humanitarian sign. They believe in everyone's right to do whatever they want, and will often be found marching for this cause or another. They'll spend most of their wages on charity. Because of their incessant attention to strangers, those close to them can often feel neglected. Make them notice you by acting hungry and weak.

Pisces is the romantic sign of the wheel. They are emotional, addictive, and real drama queens and kings. They'll promise you the moon and stars, but you'll need to nag if you want to get them, because Pisceans cannot be bothered. They're creative, intuitive and addictive. They're tidy, passionate, and if you don't mind the odd lie, they're great life-companions.